Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 3:32:07 GMT
INT. HOME OF WALTER HOBBS - OFFICE - MORNING
We open up with WALTER HOBBS, wearing a bathrobe over a t-shirt and boxers, settling into his seat at the family computer with cup of coffee.
ON THE SCREEN, Lana's e-mail account is open. Curiosity gets the best of Walt, and he scrolls the mouse over her sent box.
He gasps at the sight of hundreds of e-mails sent to the ENGAGE VOTING SITE, all voting on the match stipulation for his match.
It's CAGE MATCH across the board.
Lana stops herself.
Lana blurts it out.
She immediately covers her mouth. Walt looks upon her like a scorned dog.
Walt clutches his heart.
Lana puts her hand on her husband's shoulder.
WALTWell how about a submission match? I'm
limber--I'm Gumby, damnit-- and you better
than anyone know how flexible I am.
LANA
And submissions are allowed in this match,
darling. Don't you think I haven't thought
of that? Honey, I have already scouted
your opponents and assessed their mediocre
submission skills. Don't you know that I've
already researched the fact that one of
your opponents, Christian Valentine, has
long limbs and bad knees, which makes him
susceptible to submissions. I'm your
wife, Walter--I'm looking out for you.
Walter, look at me. What you have going
for you, what you have above everyone else
in this match, is your fortitude. You can
take more physical abuse than any other
wrestler in that ring, and that's a fact.
WALT
Walt is reminiscing.
Walt is getting bashful.
Lana takes Walt by both hands, and speaks with a gentle softness.
We open up with WALTER HOBBS, wearing a bathrobe over a t-shirt and boxers, settling into his seat at the family computer with cup of coffee.
ON THE SCREEN, Lana's e-mail account is open. Curiosity gets the best of Walt, and he scrolls the mouse over her sent box.
He gasps at the sight of hundreds of e-mails sent to the ENGAGE VOTING SITE, all voting on the match stipulation for his match.
It's CAGE MATCH across the board.
WALT
Lana! Lana, can in here!
Lana scurries into the room. She nervously looks upon her husband.
WALT
Lana, what is this?
LANA
I can explain.
WALT
Lana, all of these votes-- a cage match!?!
Lana is shaking her head.
WALT
I'm doomed!
LANA
Was that a mistake?
WALT
A mistake? You've signed my death sentence!
Was that a mistake?
WALT
A mistake? You've signed my death sentence!
LANA
What would you have preferred?
WALT
Oh, I don't know, perhaps a traditional
wrestling match, something involving
more single leg takedowns and a little
less steel? Definitely a lot less steel.
LANA
Baby, you are looking at this all wrong.
Look, I hate to be the one to say it, but--
WALT
What?
LANA
Nothing.
WALT
Not nothing. What were you gonna say?
LANA
I'm not gonna say it.
WALT
Lana, you can't say you hate to be
the one to say it and then not say--
LANA
You're technique is not that good.
WALT
You think I'm a terrible wrestler.
LANA
I did not say that.
WALT
Well you may as well have said that.
LANA
Walter, please, don't get melodramatic. I
hate to be the one to say it, but in this
match, as far as technique goes, you're out
of your league, and that is simply a fact.
WALT
Your contemptuous words
are poison to my very soul.
LANA
Sweetie, listen to me. You have the
fundamentals, but pro wrestling
technique at this level is something
that's going to take time.
fundamentals, but pro wrestling
technique at this level is something
that's going to take time.
WALT
limber--I'm Gumby, damnit-- and you better
than anyone know how flexible I am.
LANA
And submissions are allowed in this match,
darling. Don't you think I haven't thought
of that? Honey, I have already scouted
your opponents and assessed their mediocre
submission skills. Don't you know that I've
already researched the fact that one of
your opponents, Christian Valentine, has
long limbs and bad knees, which makes him
susceptible to submissions. I'm your
wife, Walter--I'm looking out for you.
Walt turns his head away from Lana. She gently grabs his face and turns it toward her.
LANAWalter, look at me. What you have going
for you, what you have above everyone else
in this match, is your fortitude. You can
take more physical abuse than any other
wrestler in that ring, and that's a fact.
WALT
You mean that?
LANA
Do you remember that time I hit you-- accidentally hit
you-- in the head with that sledgehammer-- three times.
WALT
God, did that hurt.
LANA
Of course it hurt, and yes you bled, and yes you
needed stitches, and yes you had that weird twitch
for the next two months, but somehow-- only God
knows why-- you never passed out. That's endurance.
WALT
I am kinda durable, ain't I?
LANA
And remember that time we went to Phoenix, and I
accidentally left you in the middle of the desert, and
you had to walk back to civilization? How many miles?
WALT
About fifty, fifty miles, I believe it was-- although
I'm not sure because my Fit Bit overheated from the sun.
I'm not sure because my Fit Bit overheated from the sun.
LANA
That's stamina, sweetie. You see, Sunday night, in front
two thousand live and a televised audience, I want you
to bleed, and I want it to be deep, and painful, and I want
it to last for a long time. But only because I love you, and
I want you to show the world what Walter Hobbs is made of.
Walt is coming around.
WALT
Well I guess it could have been worse.
It could have been a hardcore match.
At least there's no weapons involved.
Wait. Hardcore matches involve weapons?
WALT
Of course they do. It's a good thing
you didn't vote a hardcore match, as
that seems to be Ryan and Voidstar's
bread and butter. I guess a silver
lining is that locked in a cage, they
won't be able to get hold of weapons.
LANA
Of course. My thinking exactly.
Well I guess it could have been worse.
It could have been a hardcore match.
At least there's no weapons involved.
Lana is tripped up over a missed opportunity.
LANAWait. Hardcore matches involve weapons?
WALT
Of course they do. It's a good thing
you didn't vote a hardcore match, as
that seems to be Ryan and Voidstar's
bread and butter. I guess a silver
lining is that locked in a cage, they
won't be able to get hold of weapons.
LANA
Of course. My thinking exactly.
Walt smiles.
WALT
You've really thought of everything,
haven't you? You really do have my
best interests at heart. I'm sorry
that I doubted you.
LANA
That's what I'm here for.
You've really thought of everything,
haven't you? You really do have my
best interests at heart. I'm sorry
that I doubted you.
LANA
That's what I'm here for.
Walt hugs Lana.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE TO BLACK
