Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2016 0:56:42 GMT
YouTube posting (audio only, publicly listed)
"They say you don't really know someone 'til you walk a mile in their shoes."
There's a short little snort of derisive laughter that serves as punctuation.
"You wanna lace up my size elevens – black Chucks – an' let's hit the road. You an' me, let's go for a little walk, Caite... not the after dinner kind. Want you to just close your eyes, stop what you're doin' for a few minutes. I know with some people that's a lot to ask. The quiet... some people go so far outta their way to fill all the silences with noise. You an' me, though? We're different. These shoes're worn, seen better days, but they still fit real good – magic shoes, y'know? Slide your feet in there an' it all comes snappin' back."
The chuckle is softer now, more a form of personal rebuke.
"Chapter one. Page one – this ain't no 'once upon a time' bullshit. Almost 'xactly three years ago, I was in this company – name's not important – starin' at this huge rumble match on the horizon. Had it out with management to even get into the thing… see, made the mistake of tellin' the truth, uncensored, when I signed with the company the year before. Maybe you can guess how that went down. I get a feelin' the reason you were playin' in the littlest ponds was the same reason I did for so long. So, y'know, like a fuckin' dope I told 'em I wasn't in the biz to collect trophy case trinkets. An' I meant it. See that's the part they didn't get. Looked me dead in the eyes an' said I was either crazy or a liar. They didn't... told me that every wrestler'at's ever come 'fore me... every one they signed after me... always sketched out a timeline. Always made that gameplan obvious – Big Gold in the eventual crosshairs. They told me I'd wash out, I'd burn out if I tried to make it all about some bullshit like personal accountability an' doin' my best even when I felt like my best was a million shades off ever bein' deemed 'good enough'."
There's a metallic creak that barely masks a soft sigh.
"I know. You tossed the respect bone into my yard, I get that. An' it was prob'ly the first time it's come outta the blue, unsolicited... but I'm gettin' sideways. Put the nails aside an' just wait me out. You still feel like you got a crucifixion to plan when I'm done? Won't argue. Usually don't. So, that damned place starts gatherin' names for this big rumble – talkin' twenty, maybe thirty people an' I'm over here in my happy little corner kickin' rocks, clearin' my throat. I ask if maybe they could see fit to put me in there an' they're pouncin', claws out an' smug-as-shit 'cause it's like they finally caught me out. Oh, so now I wanna chase glory? Now I wanna take a run at Matt Ford's legacy like that track dog chasin' the mechanical rabbit? So they say, sure, they'll put me in. They'll let me compete 'longside Simon Swinger an' Eden Black an' Miss Mina an' all the others if I can tell 'em what's changed... if I can explain why I suddenly wanna grab at that brass ring like all them other folks I was pretendin' I was better'n."
He pauses, breathes in and out slowly.
"Kinda funny in hindsight, but at the time? Nah. I was pissed 'cause they were still hammerin' away, still doin' their damndest to stuff me into that little box an' push that lid down tight. They never got how it meant more to me to just be able to walk down that ramp under my own power after fightin' my heart out. They never understood how the roar of the crowd turned into that white noise, that rush of the waves'at reminded me of the first time I saw a real beach – saw the unreal blue 'steada some muddy ol' lake. They never understood how bleedin', how fightin', how the burnin' breaths an' the aches an' seein' the circles connect just right – never saw the same picture I did."
A beat.
"See, wasn't about spotlight grabby hands an' leather an' gold an' names on marquees an' all that jazz. It was... it was simpler, I guess. More real – visceral, y'know? I just wanted to push myself. I wanted to know an' just... to be better'n how he always made me feel. To be somethin' more'n just this... empty slate. This friggin' nobody."
Another bitter chuckle.
"Made eye contact. Told 'em I wanted a real challenge."
